go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
