Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
