Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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