She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We are two peas in an std pod
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
