I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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