I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
