Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
