were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
