Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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