i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
