i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
