mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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