You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
