Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
