If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
two words: eviction party
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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