I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
