That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
