Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sext me about skeletons
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
