My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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