the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
