I feel great
I just peed on a car
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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