i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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