Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
