Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the condom got lost in my hair
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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