sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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