just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
