forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
