i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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