so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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