We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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