i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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