I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
