the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
