I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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