then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
