dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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