The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
