how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
