OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
