literally had 100 drinks last night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
