I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
