Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
