Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
