my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had sex on a roof
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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