when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
