ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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