Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
