so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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