are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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