i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
