porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
