what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
