They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
