I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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