i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize