I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
