Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My life is pants optional.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
