After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
