apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
