he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
