Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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