Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize