No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
