I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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