Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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